Kitchen Kung Fu

Last night I went to go see the The Bullet Ballet in the historic Hollywood Theatre. Oh, the tutus, the tulle, the lovely orchestra that must have played in this beautiful venue, which has graced Portland's streets since 1926!

Lies, oh what sweet little lies. No, The Bullet Ballet was a John Woo double feature, action extravaganza, and it was awesome. Hard Boiled and The Killer, right after another, on 35mm film, powered by a million bullets and Chow-Yun Fat's indefatigable charm as both killer and cop. I think my favorite part of the whole night was when the guy behind me yelled, "What!" when our hero blew a gangster to bits while cradling an infant in his arms. After cooing a rap lullaby to him. And naming him Saliva Sammy. No, really:

(This photo may look photoshopped, but I assure you, it's not.)

So if you haven't seen this film, you really should, for reasons that I think are obvious. A cop named Tequila! Mobsters in fancy suits! Babies flying through the air! Slow motion sequences so you don't miss a single bullet! Coded messages sent in bouquets of white roses! Eighties synth music! A plethora of bodies twitching in midair, perforated with bullet holes! Really, what is not to love?

Thus, in my own little homage to the genius of John Woo, I decided today to make my own Chinese ten-spice blend--because five is like, so seventies, man. I also decided to grind it by hand, because I'm a bad ass and love crushing pinky-sized pieces of star anise into gunpowder. Or I just don't have a spice grinder. Take your pick. The recipe is from the China Moon Cookbook, a bible of Chinese cookery from the San Francisco restaurant of the same name, which I found by chance in a used bookstore and have fallen completely in love with. I've been working my way through the "pantry" section, which features such staples as pickled ginger (god, so much slicing, why can I not find the other half of the mandoline) and pepper oil (let's see if this time I don't squirt chile juice into my eye). Once that's done I'll be able to stir-fry to the moon! And maybe even impress someone's Chinese grandmother, gringa that I am.